I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
