can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize