i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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