WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Randomize
