I wish my penis had an off switch
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
