I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize