So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
