Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
