I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
