Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
