I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
