They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
