my mouth tastes like poor choices
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
