So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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