So drunk its hurt
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
