Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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