ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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