Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
