wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
