doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
