Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
