I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
