My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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