3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
