I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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