I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
