Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
