no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
