If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i came on her dog
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
