I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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