it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
