Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
