Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
