The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
