I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize