if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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