i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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