My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
