True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
