i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
