Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
