member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
