Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
