I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize