i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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