Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
