Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
