I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
