You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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