operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
