I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
