those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
