Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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