So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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