Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it glows. i had to have it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
