they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
