walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
