I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
