I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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