I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
