i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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