I am spending my child support on dildos
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
