I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
