the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
